“Why a troubled marriage does not mean you married the wrong person”

Couples my focus today is not to the couple holding hands while working down the road. Neither is it to the couple constantly texting I love you babe or I miss you boo, throughout the day while looking forward to going home to spend time with their spouse. I pray that many more couples will experience this. My focus today is to the hurting and troubled couples. The couples that can’t seem to understand why there is so much turmoil and turbulence is their marriage. Particularly after pre-marriage counseling, following God’s plan on marriage, praying and seeking Godly counsel before getting married.

Many Christians conclude that once you have received Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior there should be no issues in your life particularly marriage. They believe that marriages where Christian couples struggle connotes that such couples are not spiritual enough. In some cases, they conclude that perhaps the couples did not seek Godly counsel and pray to God before they got married. Below are some examples that reinforces a troubled marriage does not mean you married the wrong person or that God is absent from your marriage.

Isaac and Rebekah’s Marriage-

Isaac prayed to God and God gave him his wife. In this from two different perspectives in the biblical account of Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage. From Isaac’s perspective scripture expresses that Isaac went to out to the field to mediate. While mediating, he looked and saw Rebekah approaching on a camel with his father’s servant. Isaac was seeking God’s presence when he saw Rebekah. He made his decision to marry Rebekah out of an encounter with God.

From Abraham’s servant’s perspective scripture expresses that Abraham’s servant asked God for favor and a sign on who God has selected to be his master’s son’s wife. Scripture expresses that God confirms Rebekah as Isaac’s wife with a few signs that resonates with both Abraham’s servant and Rebekah herself.

Both Isaac and Rebekah got married with 2 fundamental convictions amongst other things. The first is that God is in their marriage and the second is that they married the right person.  One would have thought that since God orchestrated their marriage, Isaac and Rebekah should have a perfect marriage and more importantly there should be no issues in their marriage. The reality is that Isaac and Rebekah didn’t have children for 20 years of marriage. Isaac got married at 40 years and had his twin boys at 60 years old. Imagine how both Isaac and Rebekah felt. Imagine all the thoughts that would have run through their minds. Maybe I married the wrong person. Maybe God is not in this. Imagine the societal pressure they both must have faced.

Scripture says that “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife” – Genesis 25:21. This means that for 20 years Isaac stood in gap for his wife. How long have you had to wait for that issue in your marriage to be resolved that you have decided to throw in the towel. Isaac remained faithful to his wife and trusted God to come through. Are you still faithful to God and your spouse as you walk through the issues in your marriage? Do your actions signify trust in God’s words as you walk through the issues you are faced with in your homes?

Couples the reality is that regardless of who you marry, there are issues you are going to have to walk through in your marriage. Walking through issues in a marriage or a troubled marriage doesn’t validate the absence of God.

I will leave you with this quote from Pastor Emmanuel Adewale ‘Most people equate the presence of adversity with the absence of God. Reality is that the presence of God guarantee victory despite adversity”

Always remember that Marriage is a Journey not a destination. It should get better over time if the governing principles are consistently applied.

Love Always

Toyosi

There’s love in sharing :)

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