Becoming — The Sacred Journey Back to Who You Were Always Meant to Be

Becoming — The Sacred Journey Back to Who You Were Always Meant to Be

Part 2: Real Love Isn’t Possessive—It Sets You Free

Key Verses:
1 Corinthians 13:4–5 (AMPC): “Love… is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful…”
2 Corinthians 3:17 (AMPC): “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

Not everything that holds you close is holding you right. Just because they called it love… doesn’t mean it wasn’t a leash. Just because they stayed… doesn’t mean you were seen. Sometimes, what we call love is just fear dressed up in familiar arms. And sometimes, what feels like a connection is just control.

This is for anyone who has ever confused captivity for commitment. Who mistook the noise of obsession for the whisper of real love. Who forgot that the God who is love… is also the God of freedom.

The Tapestry of Becoming: A Sacred Awakening

I. The Cracking Open

What within you had to break for your soul to breathe? I thought love meant being needed every second. Answering every text. Losing pieces of myself just to keep the peace. But real love doesn’t demand your disappearance. And growth? Growth doesn’t happen in safety. It erupts in disruption. It forces you to confront every place you’ve made yourself small to survive. Sometimes the breaking isn’t punishment—it’s permission.

II. Signs of Possessiveness Disguised as Passion

Let’s be honest about what we tolerated in the name of “being chosen”: They called it “checking in.” It felt like surveillance. They made your independence seem like betrayal. They demanded loyalty, but refused to offer safety. They clung to you tightly, but only to silence your becoming. That’s not passion. That’s fear. And fear is not love—no matter how romantic it sounds in a text thread.

III. A Holy Reminder

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty…”— 2 Corinthians 3:17

So if the relationship you’re in silences you… If it shrinks your calling… If it makes you afraid to evolve… He’s not in it. The Spirit of God creates space. He loves with patience. He calls you to grow, even if that growth changes the shape of your love.

IV. Redefining Love Through God’s Lens

Love isn’t chains. Love is a choice. God’s love is not obsessed with ownership—it’s committed to your wholeness. Here’s the difference:

So, stop measuring love by how much someone clings to you. Start measuring it by how much they champion your soul.

V. Questions That Call You Higher

Sit with these. Let them unearth you. Am I shrinking in order to keep someone’s love? Do I feel free to grow in this relationship, or just guilty? Is this love building me… or binding me? If the answer breaks your heart, let it. God does His best work in broken places.

VI. The Reclamation

So now what? You stop apologizing for evolving. You stop calling toxicity loyalty. You stop mistaking being wanted for being seen. You weren’t breaking down. You were breaking open. You don’t need to hate them to heal. You don’t need to go backwards to make peace. You say: “Thank You, God… for the freedom I didn’t know I needed.” And then, quietly and fully… You return to yourself.

VII. You Are Not Too Much

You are not “too intense.” You are not “too emotional.” You are not “too spiritual.” You’re just no longer available for love that suffocates what God is breathing into you. The real ones—the ones sent by God—won’t be intimidated by your depth. They’ll celebrate your light. They’ll nurture your wings. They’ll say: “Fly. I’ll be here when you land.”

VIII. A New Kind of Loyalty

Loyalty is not about losing yourself to prove your love. It’s about becoming so rooted in God that no relationship can shake your foundation. It’s about choosing people who don’t just love you, but liberate you. Because love without liberty isn’t biblical. It’s bondage. And Christ didn’t die for you to stay chained.

IX. The Invitation Forward

So Gen Z, Millennials, Kingdom Seekers—Here’s the hard truth wrapped in holy grace: You’re allowed to outgrow love that doesn’t grow with you. You’re allowed to walk away from what God never signed off on. You’re allowed to be free. And real love—God’s love—will never ask you to trade your wings for approval.

X. Final Declaration

Let this be your anthem: “I am no longer available for love that costs me my becoming. I was made for freedom. I was made for God. I was made to grow.” You’re not losing love. You’re learning what it looks like. And beloved… real love sets you free.

In the sacred ache, in the silent rising, in the freedom found—I am still becoming.

Onaola Adedeji, MD

Physician | Freedom Midwife | Voice for Becoming

I don’t fix people. I help them become.

I was never too much, just too free for a love that wasn’t sent.

Becoming isn’t a destination. It’s a sacred return to who God always intended you to be.